I. AM. AMBITIOUS.

One of my favorite fine art photographers, Brooke Shaden, started a project entitled, I AM ME. 

One simply has to fill in the blank - I am _____ - and create a photo representing who you title yourself to be. Brooke hopes to promote not only passion in photography but also confidence in our faults and rarity through a self portrait. 

A couple of days were spent contemplating on what my answer would be. And sometime within those hours, it came to me that I want to be a published author, that I want to be a ballet company soloist, that I want to be a well known photographer, that I want to be a filmmaker, a director, a designer...because 

I am a dreamer. 

I AM AMBITIOUS.

It's not my best work, but it does bring to mind the idea. 

Satisfaction isn't usually with me because I've always wanted to improve, to be better in order to reach my dreams and get what I want. Doing so has never been easy. There are always roadblocks on my pathways, curtains to my windows. But despite all the fear and hesitation, I keep on moving forward, jumping over the obstacles. And I will continue to do so because I am ambitious.

Creating this photo formed a clearer image of what I want, who I want to be, and who I am.  

Thank you, Brooke.

Tomorrow is the first blank page of 365-page book.

This is long overdue but I took many pictures that I cannot let it go to waste.

We welcomed 2014 away from the heat of home. I believe it has become a tradition in our family to celebrate the New Year in Tagaytay. 

We left the busy streets of the city early morning on the 30th. I am not a fan of road trips, sadly, because of my motion sickness so I spent my majority of the car ride at the backseat with a headache. 

We stopped at Nuvali and ate brunch at the Pancake House - another growing tradition. By that time, I can't wait to lie on a soft, immobile bed and relax. My dreams were delayed though, by nearly an hour because of an intense bumper-to-bumper traffic uphill to Tagaytay. 

Eventually, we reached the hotel with me grateful for solid ground. The Lake Hotel's indoor pools amazed me and even better is their unlimited view of Taal Lake and its inactive volcano.

Still learning how to edit foggy landscapes.

Our room's got front row seats to this.

   

My siblings and I went walking the cold streets to neighboring restaurants/accommodations like The Inn Cliffhouse with its lake view and lanterns. Afterwards, we headed to Starbucks like the "tourists" that we are. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to snap some shots because the 2-story establishment was literally jampacked with people and visiting Koreans. And my shutter was being annoyingly stubborn that night.

"Tomorrow is the first blank page of a 365-page book. Write a good one." -Brad Paisley

Emancipate

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emancipate (n.)
            
to free from restraint, control, or power of another;
to free from bondage

Only a few weeks left before January 1st and my emotions are in a whirlpool of different food coloring, meaning they are in a mess. 

I am honestly both afraid and excited for the coming of 2014. Mainly because this year I turned 13, what more next year? I'll be older, bringing extra doses of responsibilities, expectations, adventures, and opportunities - especially, photography opportunities. 

Based on all the chances I ignored and ideas I suppressed, I lack a great amount of confidence in myself and in what I can do because I am afraid.

I am scared of being judged, ridiculed, compared to, disliked, criticized, and neglected. I am scared to take risks and try new things. 

This fear is keeping me restrained. It is keeping me stagnant and overly cautious. And I am sick of it. 

I wish to emancipate myself from fear that keeps me bound to the walls of my comfort zone.

P.S. On a lighter note, the string I intended to cut, the one that symbolizes 'fear', is actually taped to our ceiling with masking tape. It was pretty fun to set up for this photo - the thread and such - and also refreshing to overcome my initial fear of my family finding out.